Zapped Rant / Barely a Review

Um.. ever noticed how Disney does MUCH better with animated films? Gravity Falls is hands down the best show on the atrocity Disney Channel has become. And Frozen is just... AWESOME!

Oh look! A new Disney Movie... uh-huh, Zapped...

"Zoey Stevens is a 17-year-old high school student who excels in dancing and academics. She has difficulties when she changes schools, including adapting to its inept dance squad, as well as her new stepfather and stepbrothers at home, along with dealing with unrealistically rude and dim-witted male classmates. A dog training app she downloads for her phone changes things when it lets her give commands to boys." -Wikipedia, Zapped

Yes, guys. UNREALISTICALLY RUDE AND DIM-WITTED. I can't wait to add some feminist picture to this. Some dim-witted director decided to screw around, it's probably a feminist lady-

Peter DeLuise. Thanks for the terrible cluster of "WHAT?". How.. just HOW does someone come up with this... this atrocity..?

Anyway, I'll try to review this..

So, Zoey just has THE WORST POSSIBLE LIFE, with a loud stepdad and annoying little brothers, it's not like anyone in the world has some deathly sickness that can't be cured, next thing you know, her mom is gonna get her a Ferrari instead of a Lamborghini!

She goes to school and meets her new friend, who I forgot the name of because my friend and I only saw the last few bits (It's Rachel, okay?)

. Just from the TRAILER including her, I hate this chick.. the way she has the suspicious expression, GOSH, I hate it. This girl was from our favorite live action show Incredible Crew. You know, with the skit about the girl who screams at tape dispensers, tires, and staples, but not a pegasus. OMIGOD GAIS ITZA CEDAR TREE!!!!!! How about that trap gets glued together and the directors stop getting high?

Moving on, Zoey's phone gets wet, stupid brother dries it, shakes it, falls out of towel, slides against solar panel, ends up in wet dog food. Peter was oh-so smart, and thought this would affect the dog training app into.. a BOY training app!

Zoey controls boys, I guess she tricks the bad boy somehow, making him lose all trust which is understandable because I don't care about Zoey at all, as she probably doesn't show any sympathetic features...

Mean girl, Taylor, takes her phone, and I think she wants to control the whole male populus. NO!

(Commence the Cap lock!)

IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A MEAN GIRL IN A HIGH SCHOOL MOVIE, SHE'S NOT GOING TO BE A DC COMIC VILLAIN, SHE'S A REGULAR BLONDE BULLY!!!!!!

(We're safe, men)

Another thing, why are the bullies always blonde?! God, ever heard of variety?

[Remember! Two cartoons, countless live-action shows]

Oh. It doesn't matter!

Um.. mix it up a bit? She doesn't have to be the rich, white girl who all the guys mooch off of, she could be some Hispanic middle class girl who has a dysfunctional family! Maybe? The rival band in lemonade mouth aren't just blonde! Even the sexist role 60's version of Teen Beach Movie aren't blonde!

So Zoey acts like a stupid dog, and her family and friends help. Happy ending!

So oh-so lovable Rachel was dressed as the mascot and did something? I dunno. Zoey breaks her phone and throws it in the trash. Honey, how about you delete this demon, instead of being a spoiled brat and breaking your expensive phone? A guy finds it and the app still works.

There better not be a sequel..

There's going to be another thing involving boys called How To Build a Better Boy. It doesn't seem as sexist as THIS, but girls aren't all rainbow farts and boys and make-up!

Final Opinion: 1 / 10

Stars: 1/2 / 5 stars

Summary: Zapped is a Live-Action Disney movie mainly sexist towards males. The villain is unrealistically evil, the concept is ridiculous, and again, it is sexist towards men by suggesting they are rude and immature, or loud and annoying. If we are leaning towards this trash in later Disney Movies, this channel might become dead.

#rant #disney #movies #review